WHAT KIND OF FRIEND AM I?

I often have conversations with young people about what kind of people they should be spending their time with....who our close companions should be. It is good for me to get into these conversations because it causes me to evaluate, for myself, not only WHO I am spending my time with, but WHAT KIND OF FRIEND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE FOR OTHERS. Although I will not be perfect in any of the standards that are set out for me, I need to honestly search my heart and see if I am CHARACTERIZED by these things.

I pray and asking myself the following questions:

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS BEING AN ANGRY PERSON?
Proverbs 22:24-25 do not be friends with an angry man, or you will learn his ways.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO LACKS SELF CONTROL?
Proverbs 23:20-21 do not associate with winebibers, gluttonous eaters....this will lead to poverty.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS REBELLIOUS AGAINST AUTHORITY?
Proverbs 24:21-22 do not associate with those who are given to change (of allegiance, against authority, change for the sake of change.)

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS PROUD, AND LIKES TO DEBATE, ARGUE, SLANDER, AND BE HEARD?
I Tim. 6:4-5 withdraw from the proud arguer. (he is puffed up with pride, although he is ignorant. He has a morbid fondness for controversy and disputes and strife about words, which result in envy and jealousy, quarrels and dissensions, slander, etc.)

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS USES FOUL LANGUAGE, WHO IS IMMORAL IN THOUGHT OR DEED, WHO IS GREEDY, OR DISHONEST?
I Cor. 5:11 Do not associate with, or even eat with anyone who claims to be a Christian, but is known to be guilty of immorality or greed, or is devoted to anything that usurps the place of God, or has a foul tongue, is a drunkard, swindler or a robber.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS DISOBEDIENT?
2 Thess 3:14 do not associate with disobedient.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS PRIDEFUL AND WHO SLANDERS ANOTHER?
Ps. 101:5 cut off him who slanders his neighbor, and who has a haughty look and a proud arrogant heart.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS A LIAR, OR WHO IS DECEITFUL?
Ps. 101:7 do no allow those who are deceitful and those who lie to dwell in your house

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS NOT REPENTANT, AND IS CAUGHT UP IN HABITUAL SIN?
Pr. 1:10-15 Do not walk with sinners

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO SPEAKS TOO FREELY, AND DOESN'T THINK BEFORE HE SPEAKS?
Proverbs 20:19 Do not associate with one who talks too freely, flatters, reveals secrets

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO DOES NOT USE THE WORD OF GOD AS THE ULTIMATE AUTHORITY IN GIVING COUNSEL?
Ps. 1:1 Don't walk in counsel of ungodly, stand in way of sinners, sit in the seat of scornful

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO LIVES OR SPEAKS FOOLISHLY?
Pr. 9:6 Forsake foolish and live.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS DIVISIVE, AND CONTENTIOUS?
Rom. 16:17 be on your guard with those who create dissensions and difficulties and cause divisions, or are in opposition to the truth that has been taught. Turn aside from them.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS WILLING TO SHARPEN ANOTHER, WITH THE TRUTHS OF THE WORD, AND AM I WILLING TO BE SHARPENED?
Pr. 27:17 my companion should be one who sharpens, strengthen and build each other up.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS WILLING TO GIVE GENTLE LOVING REPROOF...BUT IS ALSO WILLING TO RECEIVE IT?
Pr. 27:6 my companion should be one who gives loving, gentle reproof when necessary

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS GROWING IN WISDOM, AND ENCOURAGES OTHERS TO DO THE SAME?
Pr. 13:20 my companion should be one who helps me grow in wisdom

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO CAN BE TRUSTED?
Pr. 11:13 my companion should be one who can be trusted

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO IS LOYAL, AND LOVES EVEN WHEN TIMES ARE HARD OR A PERSON IS DIFFICULT?
Pr. 17:17 my companion should be loyal, and love at all times.

AM I CHARACTERIZED AS ONE WHO FEARS GOD AND SEEKS TO OBEY HIM?
Ps. 119:63 my companion should be those who fear God, and obey Him

If I am to be honest with myself I must admit that I have fallen short in many of these areas at times. It is humbling. My desire is to be perfect in all of these areas and yet I am in a process of growth! It has been so good for me to search the scriptures and be reminded of the standard. I pray that God will continue to "grow me up"!

May we be reminded to strive to be the kind of friend that God wants us to be, but that we also might show each other grace as we grow in our understanding of what that means!

THOUGHTS FROM THE CAVE...

This year has been hard. I know people that are facing things that are 100 times harder than I have ever faced....but STILL...this year was a hard year! There have been much needed changes, adjustment, growth. All good. I have grown to love in a deeper way...deeper than I think I have in a long time! It has been a year of personal-inner turmoil and wrestling with God. Questioning. Unknown. Fear. Difficult circumstance. Feeling out of control. So much coming to the surface that God and His people have helped me deal with--and place on the altar. Learning to trust God even more. Deeper trust...and faith. Faith that He knows everything...even when I can see NOTHING!

When it rains it pours?

That's what it feels like.

People don't always do what they need to do. You want to help them see. You love...and love...and love...and then you get hit in the stomach....

I'M DONE!!!

I plop down on my bottom and cry like a two year old! I complain. I just begin to put my thumb in my mouth so I can mope for awhile...

Then this:

I feel really irritated when my husband said, "God is good..." I want to yell, "BUT THIS IS ALL SO HARD!!!"

Yes, but God is STILL good.

Psalm 57:1 "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
til the storms of destruction pass by.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills His purpose for me.
He will send from heaven and save me...
God will send out His steadfast love
and His faithfulness..."

The reality is this:
"I know that what we are going through is nothing in comparison with what others endure on a daily basis. Our trial was fashioned for us by a wise God who knew exactly what kind of suffering we needed. The trials we endure are meant to get at the idolatry, self-love, and independent unbelief that God desires to purge from our life. They are also meant to cause us to love Jesus Christ more and more, and sometimes they are not discipline at all, but rather part of God's mysterious plan to glorify himself..." Elyse Fitzpatrick.

As I face each day, I have things I feel I "need" to get done. Places to go. Battles that I am in. In order to do those things I need to get out of bed and get myself together so I can accomplish what needs to be done. In order to be affective in the daily service for my Lord I also need to get up off the floor, stop complaining, stop crying...and purpose to focus on this truth:

"God IS kind and merciful, and even though it feels like I am hiding in a cave, I'm hiding under the shadow of His wings." (like David in the cave--His situation seemed desperate...but the truth was that he was exactly where God wanted him, securely in God's protecting embrace!)~Elyse Fitzpatrick

When everything within me is yelling "THIS IS HARD!" I want to purpose to choose to focus on WHO is in control, and WHOSE WINGS I am hiding under!

Change...

Adjusting to change is always a difficult process for me. I have never been one who likes it very much! I am too sentimental at times, wanting to hold on to what is familiar and comfortable....and safe. As I watch my children grow up I feel like I am experiencing constant change. They don't stay the same for very long! As I get older it seems as though I am constantly being thrust into new adjustment times where I have to go to the Lord and ask the Him for wisdom.

(He never changes...)

As a mom I find my role is changing. As my children have become young adults, the way that I "mother" them has to change. I don't want it to change. I liked it when they were little and I was more "in control"! (Or at least it felt like I was more in control!) I know it must change or I will drive them away. So, I pray. I ask for wisdom. I consciously become more aware of how I relate to them. I ask, "How did I want my parents to relate to me ?" I pray for wisdom to know how to live out my mothering role.

What I find hard at times is that, for the most part, my children have no clue that I am having to readjust my way of thinking so often. They are busy growing up and living life, and they have NO IDEA what it is like to have to learn how to be a mom...over and over and over and over! It's just something that goes on quietly inside of me. It's been going on for 19 years! I don't think it will ever stop!

(He knows...)

Much of what we do as parents is never seen or acknowledged....and never will be. My entrance into a room will never be preceded by an announcement that tells everyone about all I've done or felt, how much I've prayed or cried, or how much I have served.

It is just quietly done before the Lord.

I went to a doctor awhile ago and as she was discussing my symptoms she kept coming back to the question, "What do you do for YOU?" She could not fathom that a woman who devotes her life to her husband or children would feel content, happy or in any way fulfilled. I felt like saying to her, "I cannot fathom living a life that is devoted to myself and my career as being all that fulfilling or making me happy." It is just not all about me in this life! Not even parenting is about ME! It's about pouring myself into the calling that I have as a mom, and offering it up to the Lord as a sacrifice! It's being willing to not be seen and even being willing to offer the "results" to the Lord.

(He sees...)

One of the battles/lies that I have to fight at times is the thought that I am not needed anymore. I know that is not true. I am just needed in a different way. Both of my children are busy. That is a good thing! I am still available to them all the time, but in a different way. I have been praying again, "Lord, how do You want me to fulfill my role?"

He is showing me.

Even though each day I face another change, I am so thankful that I can focus my attention on my NEVER CHANGING, ALL KNOWING, ALL SEEING GOD!

Living A Life Worthy Of The Calling?

Father, I know we are all in a process of growth and maturity. Please help me to remember that. Help me to remember that I have so far to go in my own walk with You. "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Ps. 129:23-24)

Father, I lift up to You these things that I am seeing and hearing.

(I know You see it and hear it too.)

It seems like many young people know more about celebrities, lyrics to the latest popular songs, the entertainment industry, and the latest movies than they do about You and Your Word. They seem to be soaking themselves and reflecting more of these things...than they do Your Son. I hear Christian young people joking about homosexuality. I hear them using words that are inappropriate and calling each other names that are not honoring to You.

They think this is funny.


(I know You don't think it's funny.)

Precious Christians regularly watch sinful content on television and movies. Shows that show explicit immorality and promote homosexuality. Scenes that encourage rebellion in children and women. This has become normal and acceptable among some who "know" You.

O God, if we REALLY know You, I mean REALLY know who You are and what You love...and what You hate...then we would know that this grieves You...

... and it should grieve us.

Father, these things that are being watched and laughed at are "the very sins that nailed You to the cross", this is why You suffered...and this is being watched daily and it is called it entertainment.

I know You don't find it entertaining.

I see women relating to men in an ungodly fashion, wearing clothes that will cause brothers to stumble and talking about men in a way that is impure. It is so common that no one even questions it anymore.

I hear young women who gossip and slander. I see a lack of love for each other.

I know young people who have seen the affects of alcohol abuse in the lives of their parents and family...and in their own lives...and yet they continue to "go there" thinking that they are above the devastation that it can cause in their lives, in the lives of their future family and in the lives of those around them.

They are deceived, Father.

Oh, Father, have mercy.

Please open our eyes to the things in our lives that are tolerated, laughed at, and accepted....that are actually hindering our spiritual growth, hurting us...and are offensive to You.

Please help us to remember that worship is not just something that we do when we sing in church....help us to see that worship is how we live our lives before You.

That everything we do is an act of worship...or not.

That everything we do either brings You glory...or it doesn't!

Please create in us a desire to think, speak, and act in a way that is pure and holy. Please draw our hearts into a deeper walk with You and create with in our hearts the desire and boldness to turn our backs on the values of this world, and not make them our own. Please "break up the fallow ground" with in our hearts, and cause us to seek You. Please cause us to see the sinful behavior that we are accepting.

Please mature us, and grow us up.

I pray that You would call many to Yourself, open their eyes to what You want them to see, and give them the desire to follow You whole heartily. I pray that many would be willing to stand for You amongst their peers and be willing to be examples. I pray that we would challenge each other to be holy and be willing to confront this sinful behavior.

Please cut us to the heart that we might be different. Break our hearts so that we might be lights in this dark world. Cause us to draw from the strength that is already ours in order that we might walk in holiness and obedience. Please put within our hearts the desire to glorify and exalt You in everything we do.

Thank You, Father, for how patient and merciful You are towards us. Thank You for not giving us what we do deserve...which is judgement, and for giving us what we don't deserve...which is forgiveness.

Please pursue us and stir up within our hearts the desire to please You. I pray that MANY would respond to Your promptings.

I pray that we would choose to "live a life worthy of the calling we have received." (Eph.4:1)

Thank you, Father.
Amen

God Makes Me Laugh...Sometimes!

I was sitting in my bedroom one morning and I looked out the window just in time to see one of our student-maintenance workers drive by on a lawn mower. Or, I should say, he RACED by on the lawn mower! I didn't realize those things could go 90 miles per hour! Wow! Who would have guessed THAT!

Think about how fast you could mow your lawn at that speed!

After seeing the guy race by I started to crack up! I mean...I couldn't stop cracking up. It just looked so funny!

I loved the time when I was taking my afternoon walk and one of my student/friends saw me walk by the library window and ran outside and jumped out in front of me to scare me.

I love it when they text me from gym to tell me to come down and see the cute guy who is playing on the opposing basketball team!

I love Monday nights-pancake night-when we have the privilege of feeding up to 25 people!

As much fun as these students can be, they also come with things that they are working through. Broken homes. Rough backgrounds. Questions. Immaturity. Sin. It is an AWESOME privilege to be involved in their lives.

I have to admit that each time a young girl comes to me and asks if I would start meeting with her, my first response is to give her the phone number of a really neat godly woman I know. One that I know would really do such a great job in discipling her. It's just so hard to think of myself in this position, when I know my own heart and how far I have to go! But God continues to say, "No. I want YOU to do it!"

So...I throw myself at His mercy and ask for Him to work through me. That's really all I can do!

I am so thankful today for what God has called me and my family to do.
I am thankful that God uses me in spite of my wicked, sinful heart.

And, I am thankful for the times I look out my window and am given something to laugh about!